The #1 Thing I Wish Girls Knew About Dating

Ok, ladies, listen up, because I’m laying down the law. There is something that (most of) you do that REALLY needs to stop.

Saying that you will go out with a guy, then always being “too busy” to actually go.


I recently posted about my perfect woman, which lead to a great conversation about this topic with some friends. I’ve talked to a lot of friends about this, and I’ve heard all of the excuses you could possibly give as to why you think this is an okay way of dealing with things, rather than just telling him the truth. You don’t want to be insensitive. (or) It’s too hard telling a boy no. (or) You really are just busy all day, every day, every week. (or) It’s awkward turning someone down.


Here’s the truth of the matter: you agreeing to go out with us, then having excuses for why you can’t ever actually go, is just dragging us along. Boys are like dumb puppies. If you give us even a glimmer of hope, we will cling to it desperately, deluding ourselves into thinking that you really are just busy and eventually you will go out with us.

If you really are trying to spare a boy his feelings, tell him the truth. Telling us, “Hey, I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested. But thank you” is 100000 times better. We will be crushed for about 30 minutes because we built up the courage to approach you at all, and then had the self-control to make a comprehensible series of words come out of our mouths, only to have our efforts be in vain, but that’s a whole lot better than putting in weeks or months of work and getting nowhere.

I should add this caveat, however: in my opinion, you should always give a boy a first date. 99% of the time, you should say yes to the first date (unless he’s genuinely a stalker. or your cousin). Go, have fun, be kind, and then at the end if you still aren’t feeling it, then politely let him know how you are feeling. For all the crap men get over not sharing our feelings enough, this is one area where the girls are really bad at it.

Now, for the men: you need to be GENTLEMEN. When a girl turns you down, don’t go ballistic or freak out. Accept that she gave you a first date, she didn’t feel the attraction, and move on with your lives. Got it? Good.

Can you even imagine how much easier the dating world would be if everyone did this? Oh HALLELUJAH, it’d be a nearly perfect world. (And THIS STORY would never have happened. If you want to feel better about your dating life, check it out.)

10 thoughts on “The #1 Thing I Wish Girls Knew About Dating

  1. I totally agree with the always go on a first date. I have been trying to get my best friend to adopt this idea because I think that a lot of times we think we aren’t going to be interested but once you force yourself to sit down and spend time with someone for more than five minutes a lot can happen. Life is too short to possibly miss out on Mr. or Mrs. Right just because you don’t think after a 5 seconds, or heaven forbid a tinder photo, that this person is not worth a hour long meal.

    With that said I understand your frustration with women being “too nice” or stringing men along. But unfortunately more often than not when you turn a guy down he instantly is rude to you. This negative reaction scares most women into hiding behind fake plans or the old “my aunt died” excuse.

    I will do my part to get to this “perfect world”.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good post TJ, but I disagree with the at least going on the first date thing. Like, life is too short to be wasting time on first dates you don’t want to be on. It may lead the guy on further because of his “dumb puppy syndrome” and make things worse. She can be kind and have fun, but at the end of the night if she expresses she still isn’t feeling it, he may respond negatively to that. You just never know. I can see how frustrating it is to have a girl commit to a date and then bail though, because flakiness is so damn annoying an unattractive and you have every right to call them out on that.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well I can’t agree with you about always saying yes to a first date, but I 100% agree that women (and men) need to be honest in their interactions with each other. There is nothing worse that leading someone on. In the long run, the truth spares feelings the most.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I read your title and was like okay …wait for it…wait for it….I was waiting for you to say something to tick the ladies off but you didn’t and your probably right that can be pretty annoying but I think you are underestimating the dating world…see what you have to say in a few more months I am sure something else will take the number one spot.


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