I have a lot of very supportive, loving people in my life. I have my parents, my grandparents, my four sisters, my friends, extended family members… the list goes on and on. The great thing about supportive, loving people is that they want you to always be happy. The bad thing about supportive, loving people is that they think they know how to make you happy.
I’m not complaining about these people I have in my life. Not at all. But there is one little area of “help” that they offer that starts getting really old really fast:
Being set up on dates.
I’m 23. I’m at a point where most of my friends, siblings, and cousins are all getting into serious relationships, and many are married! For those of you who don’t know, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (commonly known as LDS, or Mormons), and in the LDS culture people tend to get married a bit younger than the societal average. So a lot of my LDS friends and family members are trying really hard to set me up.
Currently I’m single, but I go on dates all the time. I usually go on a date every week. I meet girls at school, at church, in my apartment complex, from mutual friends, etc, and when I think they are cute/fun I ask them out. It’s pretty simple. We go on a cheap but fun date, and if I’m feeling it I’ll ask her on a second, third, and so on. Now so far, there have been 2 outcomes: either I loose interest and so stop asking the girl out, or she looses interest and stops saying yes. Nothing too earth-shattering yet, right?
So, here I am, single. And this is where the problem of being set up arises.
Let me stop here to say this: I have no problem being introduced to someone if we have things in common, or if the person introducing us knows us both well and thinks we would get along. My problem is the mindset of people who basically say this: You’re both single, and you’re opposite genders. You should date.
Obviously no one ever says it in those words, but I can’t tell you how many people have told me, “Oh, I want to set you up with _________. You’d be perfect together” (insert my friend, my cousin, my roommate, a girl from my church, etc) I ask them why they think we would work as a couple. Their answer is almost always, “She’s so fun,” or “She’s so cute,” or, the worst thing you can ever hear about someone you’r being set up with: “She’s so nice.”
***Just so you know girls, us guys know that if you are describing your friend, and the first thing you say about them is “She’s so nice,” she is probably not super attractive. Of course nice girls can be pretty, but when you say “nice” or “sweet” first, it’s a huge red-flag for us.
So, to all the great friends and family who want to set me up with someone: Perfect! I’d love to meet them. Just as long as we are clear that being a single girl isn’t the only qualification to setting me up with someone. Actually have a reason to set us up. Believe it or not, I’m looking for more than someone who breathes and has ovaries.
UPDATE: If you still want to set me up, check out my new post about my “perfect woman”.
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Agree to Disagree.”