Yesterday, I posted an article about how men’s brains work. (If you haven’t read it yet, please do. I’m going to refer to it a lot) Today, a writing prompt asked me what skill I wish I was master of. Fortunately, the answer to that question is the follow up to yesterday’s article: I wish I could better understand women’s brains. I have 4 sisters, so I’ve had quite a bit of experience in dealing with women in the day-to-day, but there are still things about the female mind I can never quite understand.
Now ladies, if I’m wrong here, please let me know. This is just what I’ve experienced from a man’s point of view.
Unlike the many boxes inside a man’s brain, where every topic has it’s own box (like The Nothing Box), a woman’s brain is made up of a big ball of wire, in which every subject is connected to every other subject. This is why women are such good multi-tasters: they don’t have to move from one box to another like men do! All the things they need to think about are already connected, making it much easier for them to think about a dozen different things at once!
Now, all that multi-tasking and thought-jumping requires energy. And what energy fuels women’s brains? Emotion! That is why women can remember events so much easier than men! Unlike men’s brains, where the Emotion Box and the Memory Box are very far apart, the wires for emotion and memory are connected in women’s brains, and when a memory is paired with an emotion, it is seared into your brain. This is why women remember everything! (Don’t think she forgot about the time you refused to take the trash out. Or the time you complained about her mother coming for Thanksgiving. She didn’t forget)
Now let’s talk about stress. Yesterday I said that when men are stressed, they will naturally want to go into their nothing box. Unfortunately, women don’t have a nothing box. There’s no piece of wire in that web that leads to nothing. Everything is connected to everything else! So, what do women want to do with their problems?
Talk! Women’s brains (for the most part) don’t shut off as easily as men’s do, and so they are constantly thinking about the thing that upsets them. What do they do with all those thoughts? They want to talk about them of course! Some guys get freaked out when their wife/girlfriend/female colleague starts talking about their problems. They don’t know what to do! Men hear women talking about their day and they think, “How can I fix this? What should I tell her?”
. . .
Who the heck told you to tell her anything???
Listen up men: unless the words you’re saying are “I’m sorry, that’s rough”, “You’re right”, or any other form of sympathy, keep them to yourself! She doesn’t want you to fix the problem. She wants you to listen. She’ll figure out how to fix it on her own once all the wires have been sorted through. For now, just listen. If she wants your advice, she will ask for it.
Now, I started this post by saying that I wanted to understand how women’s brains work. Well, what I’ve written is my understanding of the overall workings of a female brain. Now here are some of the parts I don’t understand:
- Why do women overcomplicate everything? If you like a guy, tell him. Don’t try dropping subtle hints. We won’t get them. We don’t have a box for subtle hints.
- How do you put up with us guys? Sometimes we can be really dumb. Like… REALLY dumb.
- Why do you expect men to read your minds? If you don’t tell us what you really want or what is actually bothering you, we will assume that everything is going well. Girls can usually figure out what is bothering another girl, but men don’t have a “female intuition” box.
So ladies, if you could all do the men of the world a big favor and turn your blatant-and-straight-forward meter up about 300%. We are much simpler creatures than you. We want to make you happy, but first you need to tell us how. (And no, saying “If you really loved me than you’d already know!” doesn’t count. Sorry.)
***Everything written in this post is a generality. Not all women behave this way, and not all men behave the way I wrote yesterday. Please, please, PLEASE don’t write angry feminist posts about me being misogynistic. I really do love women. I just don’t understand them.
Click here to read the follow up, where men and women’s brains meet!